Fall On Your Knees by Ann-Marie MacDonald


Here’s a picture of their house as it was then.

We are going on vacation. Because my brain is taken up with traveling details, leaving no room for contemplation and inspiration, I share with you my to-do list so you can panic vicariously.

  • Remember sunglasses
  • Write instructions for pets left behind (chickens, cats, lizard)
  • Accomplish several miles of laundry
  • Cut toenails so Canadians think you have nice feet
  • Remember to close windows in case of hurricanes
  • Get cash and worry about money
  • Remember sunglasses
  • Store laptop at friend’s house because your entire life is on that thing and the opioid epidemic is real therefore no home is safe, even if you live deep in the ever-loving woods
  • Kiss the dogs before they embark on their own vacation to Grammy and Grandpa Camp
  • Decide which books to bring along, out of the six you have narrowed the choice down to
  • Find space in the luggage for all six books
  • Remember that you are going on vacation with YOUR FAMILY and find space for only five books
  • Locate passports
  • Panic when you can’t immediately locate passports
  • Remember you put them somewhere special for safekeeping
  • Locate passports
  • Relieve refrigerator of perishable food and food that has already perished
  • Remember sunglasses
  • Wonder if the vacation houses have laundry options
  • Wonder if by the time the week is up borders will have been closed due to nuclear annihilation
  • Forget sunglasses

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