As far as days go, this is pretty much the worst one ever.
Thoughts that keep me awake at night:
- Where the heck is my passport?
- When I am 90 and alone, I am going to be extra depressed because most of our family photos are stuck in hard drives of computers I no longer remember the passwords to, all those laptops stacked over there in the corner bookcase of the bedroom.
- I am never going to publish a novel.
- The car has a rusty patch. The car is probably going to die a tragic death very soon. The car makes noises like I make noises when something hurts. The car, the poor car, is older than one of our kids, both cats, and both dogs.
- Two days ago, I missed the fact that a piece of ad copy was missing the word “to.” Now everyone must know I’m faking it, that I’m actually a terrible editor who deserves to be fired.
- When I spoke up in that meeting the other day, did I sound as dumb as I think I did? I did, didn’t I? Yup. Definitely sounded dumb.
- If I don’t rent movies from our neighborhood video store, it will go out of business and those people will lose their jobs and it will be my fault.
- I don’t recycle well enough. The earth is going to burn up and it will be my fault.
- The cats are inside. That means they’re going to either poop in the bathtub or wake me up at 5 am.
- The cats are outside. That means they’re going to get eaten by coyotes and it will be my fault.
- Where the heck are M’s glasses?
- My children are going to remember me as a haggard woman who is always in a rush and who listens to their charming stories of school and friends and video games with half an eyeball on the road, phone, clock, or dinner.
- We have terrible diets. We’re all going to get scurvy and it will be my fault.
- My husband is going to remember me as a haggard woman who is always in a rush and who listens to his charming stories of work and friends and television series with half an eyeball on the road, phone, clock, or dinner.
- That damn PTA newsletter keeps not writing itself.
- I am never going to get my act together and plan a family trip to Iceland to stay in the bubble hotel. I will regret this. It will be my fault.