Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Cabin Fever

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I always thought the only place in the world where you could get Drummies was at the Holiday Bazaar. But today me and Mom were at the grocery store, and you’ll never BELIEVE what I found in the frozen food aisle.

The best place to be if the zombie apocalypse strikes is a karate dojo filled with young ninjas testing for their next belt level.

Or, as my friend’s husband leaned over and whispered during the blue belt test, “Not if. When.”

These kids are fierce. They’re ferocious. And they’re focused. Well, most of them. There’s always the few who are taking karate because a therapist recommended it, the ones whose belts are always falling off, the ones who need to go to the bathroom halfway through every single class, the ones whose eyes are always looking to the corners of the room, out the window, over the heads of the sensei, everywhere but inward. Those kids are not focused, but they are trying hard. And karate really is very good for them.

When the higher belts trotted to the weapons wall and chose their implements, my friend’s husband whispered, “Now shit’s getting real.” He has an accent, so it was perfectly fine for him to swear, even with all those young ones underfoot.

The students really are a joy to watch. Karate is like dancing, but with the potential for enemies to pop out out from behind the plants. The students inhabit the movements they make on the floor with their entire selves–their lives and longings and fears. My own boy out there, watching him you would know: this kid is not quite rebellious, but almost. This kid has reservoirs of talent he doesn’t quite know how to access. This kid gets along with most people, until he doesn’t. This kid worries about how he looks. This kid is capable of accidental cruelty. This kid will happily leap from an airplane and shout joy into the gusty sky. This kid will adore you, but he won’t be fooled by you.

But first, he gets his blue belt.

He took the photo at the top. Isn’t it lovely? He has an eye, an ear, and excellent proprioception.

And he will totally kick ass during the zombie apocalypse.

 

 

 

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