Leaving Before the Rains Come by ALexandra Fuller

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Mom’s voice was firmer than Dad’s. She painted life gilded, she skipped over the difficult bits, and she put a positive spin on Rhodesia’s long and bloody civil war (“Best years of my life!”).

Oh, look. Guess what #3 on my to-do list is? Post blog.

I’m tempted to click publish right now, even though further down is the start of a grocery list nobody wants to read and I haven’t chosen a quote or photo yet. And yes, content is at a minimum. Dear ones, I am overwhelmed. I am losing the thread. There are too many things to think about and it’s summer, which means my brain is slow. I am on lunch break at work, on hold with a campground in Maine, and in the process of signing a kid up for fall sports. Ah, fall. Season of cool nights, bright colors, and snap-to brains. But right now is summer, and hot, and full of bilous pockets.

We are supposed to go camping this weekend. T is supposed to go to overnight camp next week. After that there are still one and a half weeks of children needing to be corralled.

Reading this book reminds me of risk and how once I jumped into a frozen pond–that remains my riskiest moment. I read books like this that are filled with danger and excitement and thrill and I think, phew, love my boring life because at least I’m not getting my babies killed or finding myself committed to a mental institute. And then I realize that I equate all things not boring with bad. Like if it’s not doing dishes, cooking meals, snuggling with children in front of the TV or swimming at the pool, then we’re all going to die.

But isn’t a little bit of risk a good thing?

I’m sure it must be. I need to start taking larger bites.

But not too large, because then I could choke.

You know who does risk really well? The middle boy. Like just now, he made this sped up video of a crazy walk through the house, knowing it would make both his parents want to vomit. Now, that’s risky.

Things will get done, I’m sure. Life will out. I won’t always feel like pulling the covers over my head (yes, even in this heat) and ignoring the things that make me happiest. The checklist will gain a few checks. I will hit publish, and mean it.

 

 

 

 

cheese sticks

teriyaki sauce

ice cream

wine

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