From White Noise by Don DeLillo


Let’s enjoy these aimless days while we can, I told myself, fearing some kind of deft acceleration. P 18

Today is the last day of break. It’s been busy this week, but a different kind of chaos. We had events for the kids every day at the Library and a dinner/movie night for the grownups Friday evening. With all of the preparation and hosting of these activities. I haven’t had a chance to think about much. I haven’t even really had a chance to figure out what to write to post here. Times like these it’s hard to carve out any writing time or even time to think about the upcoming weeks. The distraction is both a blessing and a curse.

There are great parts to break week— no homework, no deluge of kids storming the Library doors after school ends. Though I honestly do miss them, a week is a nice little vacation from our routines. For all of us. Our town is a little quieter, most people having left us for places without our levels of snowfall. It’s a different rhythm, a different pace. It’s a respite from the norm.

It’s hard to believe, but by the time the next break arrives in April, T will have gotten his college decisions back. And I feel us getting ready to board that roller coaster. As much as I want to speed time up and figure out what direction T’s life will be moving in, I want it to creep slowly. Time as a tortoise, inching forward in microscopic increments, that might make me happiest.

Instead of wishing the days to fly by, I am trying to take some little pleasure in each one. So today my family is hosting our version of Christmas. With presents and turkey dinner and cherry galette for dessert. The first time round in December, we hit a few snags. Santa left us notes to say the presents were unfortunately delayed, but the holiday has finally arrived. So today we are lazing and enjoying ourselves. The fact that it was snowing last night put me in the mood for Christmas. I found myself humming favorite tunes and listening to holiday radio shows. Everyone seems happy with the small gifts we bought each other. Each one of us has been caught with a silly grin on our faces. I love that feeling: when you can’t help it, no matter what you do your mouth just makes a smile or a laugh comes bubbling out. After dinner we’ll be writing, what should now probably be thought of as Chinese New Year, cards to friends. And then to top it all off, a night of PBS. Since I missed last week, this evening will be a double dose. That thought alone is enough to make my Sunday a delightful one.

This next week will be a return to our normal. Work, school, play practice afterschool. But the light is lasting a wee bit longer each day and that is a gift. The coming Spring is imminent, even though we know we will see more snow before the green begins to sprout through. Pictures of flowers will start to show up online and I will do my best to be thankful for friends who are trying to share their beauty rather than wallowing in the miserable, icy grip of this never-ending season. I know it’s coming. In fact, it’s all coming too fast and at a lightning speed. But right now I don’t even have to think much about it. I think I’ll just turn up the Christmas carols and have another bite of toffee. And another sip of eggnog. Why not, it’s the holidays.




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