from The Disenchantments by Nina LaCour

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How can I wish for one thing when everything is beginning? So I just wish for this feeling to last. p 18

Fledge. Definition: to acquire the feathers necessary for flight

Another year. Another word. Another chance to start living intentionally. Not by leaps and bounds, but with tiny little steps.

I think this year’s word grew out of last year’s: flourish. I tried to let it guide me over the past twelve months. When I closed my eyes I would see this flower—more likely a weed— growing through the cracks in the sidewalk. People would walk by and occasionally notice it, taking that plant’s persistence to heart. I guess it was a “bloom where you’re planted” kind of year. And I tried. I accepted that we were going to be in this house, and most likely in these jobs for the forseeable future and we could make the best of it. If we chose to we could thrive, or even beyond that– flourish.

This year though will be all about jumping into that great unknown. All of T’s applications are in, so now we catch our breath and get ready to fill out all of the financial aid forms. So many scholarship applications and so little time… And then we cross our fingers and wait to see how it all plays out.

But no matter what happens, T will be headed off to his new adventure this fall. Armed with a waffle maker, a panini press and his newly acquired s’more making kit, he’s going to make some roommate exceedingly happy. And M and I will be here with a slightly empty house and a feeling of being more than a little dazed and confused. That’s where this new word comes in. Right now I’m gathering up those feathers. Everytime I think about the future and smile instead of tearing up, I add one. Everytime a friend tells me how their lives have been enriched by having their children move out, I add another. It might just be possible to have built a flying machine by the time August rolls around. I fancy myself to be Orville and Wilbur’s sister ready to make a go of it on my own.

These next few months will be filled with dreams and hopes and plans, all of the things one associates with a graduation or the turning of a new year. If I did have one wish, it would be to keep this feeling of closeness intact, no matter the distance. Yesterday and today we’ve played board games, read, watched great movies, knit and consumed huge amounts of popcorn and sparkling drinks. We’ve sat under the twinkling lights of the tree, laughed at each others jokes and smiled at new discoveries. I can’t remember a time when the three of us have been happier. Well, maybe if we could get phone service again, that might just make it all complete. (Turns out the only thing worse than dial-up, is no dial-up.) A girl can dream.

 

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